What grown men will do for a 3-year-old
“You’re not going to put this on your blog, are you?” asks King Daddy with a slight tremor in his voice. Please notice carefully. King Daddy is dressed for “the parade” with Mardi Gras beads placed strategically by the princess. The ones over his ears are “earrings.”
However, can you also detect the blissful smile on King Daddy’s face? Yes, the magic of a 3-year-old granddaughter who has selected you – at least for the moment – to be her partner in the parade.
The North Carolina Mayhews/Tennessee Harbins/Tennessee Mayhews congregated at Oak Haven Resort over Labor Day Weekend for a few days of sloth, over-eating, napping and attending to the princess. Sydney was more than happy to accommodate her fanatically doting grandparents, especially Granbunny and Nana.
First, of course, were the royal fashion shows. We were treated to a number of designer options in bathing suits, dresses, and a stunning Rapunzel costume that Sydney will wear for Halloween, complete with tiny purple slippers that light up. Somehow the paparazzi found their way to Cabin 106 because the princess was almost blinded by the flashes going off on the cameras. But she gamely carried on “showing her teeth”, which is how her mother prompts her to flash a genuine smile.
Of course, the princess must be fed and, I must report, Granbunny was shameless in this department. Not a single thing in Bunny’s grocery bag involved actual real food. There was the red,white and blue cake mix (with matching sprinkles) for the mini cupcakes. There was two additional vats of sprinkles for the ice cream pops Bunny planned to make. And we’ll get to the funnel cake in a minute.
Here is Bunny opening the first can of sprinkles for Sydney’s vanilla ice cream (please note designer bathing suit on the princess). Just a few sprinkles. Bunny shows Sydney how to delicately decorate her ice cream.
Until the top of the sprinkle can pops off and a shower of artificially flavored and colored candy shards covers the bowl. No matter. The princess is completely delighted. And that is the object of the exercise, isn’t it? The princess consumes the entire, delightfully crunchy and sugary mess and then Bunny announces the next conquest. The funnel cake.
There is some history to the funnel cake. For years, Bunny has taken my son, Noah, for a special outing on his birthday that always involved funnel cake. Mothers, fathers and other relatives need not apply for this excursion because there was only one on the guest list. This year, Bunny and Noah invited Sydney.
“Why can’t Nana go?” Sydney asked with some concern. Good girl! There was a brief glimmer of hope that Nana would be invited to the Secret Society of Fried Dough. And, yet, an invitation from the ring leader was not forthcoming. When the time came to get in the car, Sydney hesitated, her lip trembling. I waited for it. “I won’t go without Nana.” But that wasn’t it at all. She was just afraid to leave Mommy and Daddy. Drats. Off they went to funnel cake land.
However, God smiled upon Nana and provided a powerful thunderstorm that required Noah to run into the funnel cake place, obtain the fried dough with powdered sugar, and return to the cabin to consume it instead of eating it away from Nana’s pitiful gaze.
And so I was able to obtain this exclusive photo of Sydney, mouth full of fried dough and hands sticky with powdered sugar, in a funnel cake coma. I momentarily thought about offering Sydney one of the ultra-processed refrigerated cookie dough sugar cookies with highly refined glitter frosting and sprinkles on them I had baked in her absence, but even I knew that would be cruel.
The princess survived the Sugarland Express. After one last nibble of a white chocolate and macadamia nut cookie this morning, she got in her car seat, blew us kisses and was gone. And we were all a little sad the parade was over. But we got to march. At least, we got to march.
Cupboard Cafe. I usually go light – just a sausage biscuit, because lunch is at the Dillard House.
I needed to eat this baked potato stuffed with pulled pork, shredded cheese and topped with real bacon crumbles. Oh, and the tubs of butter and sour cream on the side. And the yeast rolls. Oh, the yeast rolls.