Category Archives: tea sandwiches

December 10, 2012

Tea sandwiches have no calories

Or at least that was my thinking apparently. Every year, the morning of the English Tea, I vow, as food chairman, I will not partake of the tea sandwiches and sweets even though the Women of St. Paul’s make extras precisely because they know the kitchen crew and servers will pilfer a few here and there.

So here’s how it went this year.

9 a.m.: Pick up chocolate-covered strawberries from my beloved Publix. Buy a bag of carrots to eat during the day so I will not dip into the tea sandwiches.

The Cucumber Sandwich Express - 600 in about an hour and a half

9:30: Head down to Founder’s Hall to help assemble 600 cucumber sandwiches. Snatch just the tiniest piece of shortbread from the sweets trays to ward off hunger pains I am imagining.

10:15: Cucumber sandwiches done and it’s obvious we have more than 600. Quality control must be maintained. I eat two of them.

11 a.m.: Help Marida Stearns with the chocolate mousse cups topped with peppermint sprinkles. We’ve never had these at the tea before so, once again, quality control must be maintained. I eat one.

Noon: We begin plating scones. We made them last week and froze them. How did that work out? I eat half a scone just to make sure. Delicious. Katie Faulkner helpfully admonishes the kitchen staff to eat some lunch so our blood sugar doesn’t take a dive during service. She is a nurse so we feel obliged to take her advice. I move the bag of carrots in the fridge to get to the turkey and arugula mayonnaise sandwiches. My finger happens to graze an egg salad sandwich in the process. I have touched it. I must eat it.

2 p.m.: The first seating is over and the tiers come back to the kitchen. Oh, dear. There are three cucumber sandwiches and four Blue Moon’s on one of the plates. I eat one cucumber sandwich and two Blue Moon’s (a jacked up pimento cheese) because I haven’t tried them yet. Plus a lemon curd tart.

Cranberry Orange Scones

4 p.m.: Second seating starts and that means it is 0-wine-30 in the kitchen. I pour myself some Pinot Grigio and since I have not broken out the carrots yet and have very little food in my stomach, another turkey and arugula. And another chocolate mousse cup.

5:30 p.m.: Second seating ends and the leftovers come back to the kitchen. We offer some to the servers who have been very brave during the seatings and have not snatched a single sandwich off a guest’s plate. The number of leftover cucumber sandwiches is beginning to dwindle. I have a slight panic attack and eat two.

7:15 p.m.: I head home with several baggies of sandwiches and shortbread. And my carrots.

Artichoke tea sandwiches

So, of course, I’m obsessing about the English Tea, of which I am the food chairman, all this week. Forgive me.

The line-up for the savories is always the same. Much-beloved recipes that, like our children, defy picking a favorite. We simply cannot do without the curried chicken salad, the Blue Moon’s, the egg salad, turkey and arugula mayonnaise, and the all-time winner, the cucumber sandwiches. It is slightly embarrassing that the kitchen staff gazes longingly at the cucumber sandwiches as they’re placed on the tiers, hoping against hope that someone out in the tea room is allergic to cucumbers. Would we eat a “used” cucumber sandwich that came back to the kitchen? Why, yes we would. Without shame.

If we could ever figure out a way to cram a sixth sandwich on the plate, it would be this one. The recipe is from Saveur and these sandwiches are ridiculously easy to make. But so seductive. So unusual. We will use bigger plates for next year’s tea.

Cheddar and chive scones

There are issues that weigh heavily upon me. Global warming. The economy. How to make a really good scone.

This scone issue is serious because the Women of St. Paul’s have lost their professional baker of scones for the English Tea. I thought I had scored a triumph when I obtained her recipe. Then I read it. It’s from England. All the measurements are in grams. I don’t do grams.

I started getting agitated. If the scones suck, everyone will blame me. Oh, they won’t say anything. They’ll just give me the look. The pitiful look that will convey, “The tea would have been a complete success but for the scones. Oh, well.”

But then I started thinking about it. A scone is nothing but a biscuit with fluted edges. And what makes biscuits light and flaky? Buttermilk. So I found a recipe from Nigella Lawson, decided to make savory scones so Mark would help me eat them, and gave it a whirl. By George, I think I got it. The scones turned out light and moist and were really quite spectacular with a few well-placed pieces of crispy bacon sandwiched in the middle.

Cheddar Cheese and Chive Scones (with liberal thanks to Nigella Lawson)

3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

½ teaspoon salt

4 tablespoons very cold unsalted butter

2 tablespoons very cold Crisco

¾ cup shredded Cheddar cheese

3 tablespoons snipped chives

1 ¼ to 1 ½ cups buttermilk

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Put the flour, baking soda, cream of tartar and salt in the work bowl of a food processor. Pulse several times to combine.

Cut the butter and Crisco into small cubes and add to the work bowl. Pulse until the cubes have become the size of peas (you may have a stray large chunk, but we’ll fix that in a minute).

Transfer the flour mixture to a mixing bowl. Gently sift through the mixture and if you encounter a large chunk of butter or Crisco just rub it with your fingers to break it up. Add the Cheddar cheese and chives, mixing gently but thoroughly.

Add 1 ¼ cups of buttermilk and mix gently until a dough forms. If the mixture seems too dry add the rest of the buttermilk.

Lightly flour a cutting board and pat the dough until it is about 1 ¾ inches thick, Cut out scones with a biscuit cutter, preferably fluted, and place fairly close together on a baking sheet with either a silicone mat or parchment paper.

Bake for 12 minutes and cool on a wire rack.

Yield: 12 scones.

1 Comment

Filed under breads, snacks, tea sandwiches, Uncategorized

Tagged as butttermilk, cheddar cheese, chives, food network, Nigella Lawson, scones, southern cooking

October 8, 2012

BLT tea biscuits

Alrighty then, here’s an easy one for you. Mini BLT’s nestled atop a half a tea biscuit. Is this a Southern thing? Perhaps.

If you are from the South, you know what a tea biscuit is. It’s a mini version of a regular biscuit that, I believe, was invented entirely for shaved ham sandwiches served at most receptions, funerals and cocktail parties. It is also the perfect platform for those end of the season cherry tomatoes, some good bacon, ribbons of romaine lettuce and Duke’s mayonnaise.

You don’t need me to tell you how to make these, do you? Just look at the photo. It’s not rocket science. If you can’t find tea biscuits in your neck of the woods, use a small baguette. If you can’t find Duke’s, use Hellmann’s. If you can’t find bacon, lettuce and cherry tomatoes, then there is absolutely no hope for you and you need to move to France.

4 Comments

Filed under breads, pork, tea sandwiches

Tagged as appetizers, bacon, bacon lettuce and tomato, blt, mayonnaise, southern cooking

July 19, 2012

The queens of hearts

Wanda Woolen in her finery

The women of P.E.O’s Chapter AG attended the Mad Hatter Tea Party yesterday. We left decorum at the door. We were ladies of many ages wearing hats, some of them elegant and some of them whimsical.

Wanda, Claire, Susan and Margaret

Many people are not aware of P.E.O. and that’s a shame. We are a 143-year-old organization that provides scholarships to women for college. We actually own a college, Cottey College in Nevada, Missouri. There are almost a quarter of a million members. We do a lot of good work, but P.E.O. is so much more than that. It’s a sisterhood. There are certain promises we make to each other when we are initiated that last for our lifetimes.

And we eat. We eat all the time. We have coffee hour before our meetings and lunch after.

Elegant food for ladies who lunch

We have socials that always involve food. The tea, for example was a masterpiece of food. There were deviled eggs and chicken salad in tiny phyllo cups and pimento cheese sandwiches and lemon squares and…well, I could go on and on.

Food is so much a part of the social fabric of life. The sisters gather around the table, whether it be a long, long table at a restaurant or a buffet line, and review the marking posts of our lives. We talk of grave matters and light-hearted ones. We cheer our accomplishments and lick our wounds. Sometimes there’s even alcohol involved.

One of the hospitality committee members made palmiers for the tea. So I’ll leave you with my palmier recipe. It’s one of the easiest things to make for a tea or cocktail party. If you don’t tell people how you do it, they’ll think you spent 10 hours making them when, in fact, it takes 15 minutes.

Palmiers

1 sheet of frozen puff pastry, thawed

1 container of store-bought pesto

Thinly sliced ham

Parmesan cheese, freshly grated

Put the puff pastry sheet on a cutting board dusted with a little flour. Roll out to flatten slightly.

Spread pesto on the puff pastry and top with slices of ham. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese.

Roll the pastry up halfway from either end so the finished product resembles a palm leaf (if you want to see what this looks like, click here). Cut into half inch pieces and place on a parchment-covered cookie sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 12 minutes until they are puffed and golden.

1 Comment

Filed under chicken, eggs, pork, snacks, tea sandwiches

Tagged as chicken salad, deviled eggs, ham, palmiers, pesto, pimento cheese sandwiches, southern cooking

May 20, 2012

When the Bishop comes

Bishop John C. Bauerschmidt makes a pilgrimage to the center of the universe, the kitchen at St. Paul's Episcopal Church.

When the Bishop comes. It’s momentous. It’s a big, big day. It requires weeks of preparation on the part of the Women of St. Paul’s. We go into battle mode and our arsenal is vast: cucumber sandwiches, pimento cheese, deviled eggs, lemon cupcakes and chicken salad, white meat only naturally. And that’s just for starters.

Of course, the Bishop is not coming to eat. He’s coming to preach, to confirm new members and to baptize babies. As far as food goes, he’d probably be just as happy eating some 7-layer Mexican dip and a few Cheetos. But that’s not how we roll at St. Paul’s. Not. At. All.

Presentation is everything

A few weeks before the Gala Reception – and it’s always called the Gala Reception for reasons I’m unclear about – the word goes out to the Women of St. Paul’s. Each and every year, the food chairman is immediately worried that we will not have enough food. Could you make a few more egg salad sandwiches? How about adding some brownies? Each and every year, we could feed Congress with what ends up on the immaculately decorated tables. It’s a point of pride. We make beautiful food because this is what we do.

Wanda (we made her pose like this) with her floral masterpiece

This is how the day goes. The reception is at 1 p.m. (actually, it was supposed to start at noon but, ahem, the Bishop slightly runs over the normal duration of a sermon). The women have been hard at work since 9 a.m. The massive floral centerpiece has been in place since last night in the middle of the series of tables put together to resemble a cross. How ecclesiastical of us. The centerpiece is the size of a child’s wading pool. Wanda Woolen, who has been elected Chairwoman of Everything for Life, just threw it together using flowers from her garden. Really now. If I did the centerpiece from my garden it would consist of crabgrass and dandelion leaves.

Mini ham biscuits with floral flourishes

Platters start to arrive around 10 a.m. We appreciate the contribution of each and every woman and time associated with assembling 75 cucumber sandwiches or 80 lemon cupcakes. However, some of the presentation is not quite…uh…up to standards. I won’t go into details here. Let’s just say that Leslie Frasier, the presentation architect of the women’s group, has come armed with clusters of grapes, ivy leaves, hydrangeas and other decorative flourishes to assure that the Bishop, who won’t notice, notices. Cheetos. The man just wanted some Cheetos.

Leslie (yes, I made her pose for this, too) adds a final touch to a plate

Actually, I did some reconnaissance of the Bishop’s plate as I was leading him to the kitchen for a photo opportunity with the women who make it all happen. Three shrimp tails. A dab of cocktail sauce. That was it. Unlike some of us (me), who roamed the buffet tables like a starving hyena, pausing momentarily to appreciate the neatly arranged sprigs of parsley intertwined around the chicken salad phyllo cups.

At the end of the reception, we are well pleased with ourselves, even though we are led as Christians to practice humility. We can be humble in the real world. We’re allowed just a wee bit of self-satisfaction within the confines of Otey Hall. We are fools for God. Fools for the God who appreciates a well-executed deviled egg plate.

Mother knows best

There are certain rules that must be observed if you are a proper Southern woman. I have many of them. But for Mother’s Day, I will offer the top ten rules that must never be violated. Some of them involve food and some of them just involve common sense, which many people seem to have forgotten about these days. Here we go.

1. It doesn’t cost a nickel to be nice. This is from my own mother, who told me this many times and she was absolutely right. That doesn’t mean you don’t have the courage of your convictions. It just means that you don’t have to act like a complete pill about it.

2. Never serve barbecue or fried chicken at a funeral reception. You always want to send the dear departed off in a proper manner and that involves silver, real glassware (no plastic cups – ever) and restrained food such as finger sandwiches and dainty sweets. However, if someone has not gotten the memo on this and brings a bucket of Kentucky Fried, you must refer to Rule 1. You thank them profusely, place the bucket in the middle of the reception food table and then just shut up about it.

3. Every Southern woman must have a deviled egg plate, even if you don’t like deviled eggs. There is no sadder sight at a luncheon, than deviled eggs wobbling around on a regular plate. We have a bazaar at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church every Labor Day weekend and my deviled egg plated somehow found its way into the offerings I was giving to the bazaar. It got all the way into the social hall before I realized it. I almost had a heart attack.

4. Always say thank you. This small bit of civility seems lost on some people today. You buy a Diet Coke at a convenience store. The clerk hands you change. Say thank you. And definitely stop talking on your cell phone long enough to look the clerk in the eye to say thank you. It’s just common courtesy. If you don’t, then you risk being just common and there’s nothing worse in the South. My mother would sometimes refer to someone as being “common as kraut.” You might as well call someone a devil worshiper. If you’re tempted to do that, please refer to Rule 1.

5. Never eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. You just look silly.

6. Never discuss money, politics or religion with anyone other than your family. It will just get you into trouble and will be socially awkward. Acceptable topics in social situations are the weather, your children, everyone else’s children and football.

7. Always share a recipe. It’s a way of connecting like no other kindness. If the recipe includes three ingredients or less, even better. That’s the Southern way. Just consider sausage balls and artichoke dip, two of the South’s favorite foods. Three ingredients each. You will score extra points if one of the ingredients is cream of mushroom soup.

8. Always use Duke’s Mayonnaise. There really is no substitute. But if you find yourself in a social situation where Kraft Mayonnaise is discussed, please refer to Rule 1. And definitely no Miracle Whip.

9. Never eat watermelon before July 4. It’s just bad luck. This is from my sainted late father-in-law, Paul. He also had a rule that you never put photos of living relatives on the wall. It was just sure to kill them off. Poor Bunny had to buy extra tables to hold all her photos.

10. Never, ever let any occasion pass you by without offering food. In the South, it is the ultimate way of showing respect, love and kindness. From the cradle to the grave – whatever the occasion is – if you do not show up at someone’s door with a casserole you are just not operating with a complete set of brain cells. And always offer your best stuff. A bucket of chicken and a bag of chips are not acceptable. But if you should find yourself opening the front door after the birth of your third child to find someone cheerfully handing over a bucket from the Colonel and a bag from Golden Flake – always, always, refer to Rule 1.

4 Comments

Filed under casseroles, chicken, tea sandwiches, Uncategorized

Tagged as barbeque, deviled eggs, fried chicken, mayonnaise, mother's day, rules to live by, Southern etiquette

December 11, 2011

Alabama Fire Crackers

Sometimes it is better to be “back of house.” Let me illustrate with the English Tea, presented each year in early December by the Women of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. “Front of house” are the servers. They spend hours at two seatings bringing out tiers of savories and sweets to our guests. They get nothing. “Back of house” is the kitchen crew. As you can see from the photo, merriment ensues fueled by a wee bit of Chardonnay or Merlot. And we get food. Lots of food.

I am the food chairman and so it is my responsibility to taste everything that goes out to the tea room. Let’s see. My total consumption during the tea was: 3 cucumber sandwiches, 1 egg salad sandwich, 2 Blue Moon sandwiches, 1 chicken salad sandwich, 2 smoked turkey sandwiches with arugula mayonnaise, 1 square shortbread, 1 pecan tart, half a cranberry orange scone with Devonshire cream, 2 “back hall” sandwiches made for the kitchen crew with cream cheese, butter, ham and chipped beef, 3 half cups of red wine and about a pound of these addictive crackers and dip that Julie Reinhardt brought from her office.

I cannot overstate how delicious these are. Crispy, salty, spicy goodness. Which is why you need a soothing sour cream dip to cut the heat. Calories? Don’t even go there. There is nothing nutritionally redeeming about Alabama Fire Crackers. But during the holidays you just have to suspend reason for a few moments and enjoy.

Alabama Fire Crackers

1 cup vegetable oil

1 envelope ranch dressing mix

1 envelope Italian dressing mix

3 tablespoons red pepper flakes (crushed)

1 pound Ritz crackers

Whisk the vegetable oil, dressing mixes and red pepper flakes in a bowl to combine thoroughly. Put the mixture in a 2-gallon plastic zipper bag. Place the crackers in the bag, seal, and turn the bag over to cover the crackers with the spice mix. Let the bag sit for about 1 hour, then turn again. Repeat several more times until the crackers are well-coated with spice mix, and allow the bag to sit refrigerated overnight. Remove crackers and serve.

Zesty Dipping Sauce

16 ounces sour cream

1 package taco seasoning mix

Combine thoroughly and chill for at least an hour.

1 Comment

Filed under dips, snacks, tea sandwiches, Uncategorized

Tagged as alabama fire crackers, dips, english tea, red pepper flakes, ritz crackers, sour cream, south, southern cooking

September 28, 2011

Mini croissant sandwiches

Southern women love college football. It’s a fashion opportunity. Oh, we genuinely love the game and can talk all that football talk, but I guarantee if you open any woman’s closet in the SEC you will find a blinding array of school-colored clothing, accessories and jewelry. If you are fortunate, you will be an LSU fan and can wear purple and gold. LSU is very fashion forward. On the other hand, if you are a Volunteer fan, as I am, your choices are somewhat limited and nearly always unflattering. Day-glow orange is not fashion forward.

We actually got cheated out of a pretty good color and I’m not sure why. If you look carefully at the Volunteer uniforms you will notice they are not the same extreme orange that the fans wear. The color is a lighter orange that was chosen in 1891 to mimic the color of the American Daisy, which proliferated on campus back then.

So as I’m pulling out my orange t-shirt, orange pajama pants (this is an “at home” game for me) and orange clogs I am thinking about football food. While rooting for the Vols at home there are certain precautions you must take to ensure victory. You must be dressed in orange, you must have a cocktail or two before halftime and you must have some manner of football food.

Football food can be the usual – wings, pigs in a blanket, barbecue. Or it can be something you just don’t eat every day. Special. Usually fattening. Able to soak up vats of alcohol should the Vols not be doing so well. Here are my mini croissant sandwiches, made so Southern with the addition of red pepper jelly as a component. If you have to ask what red pepper jelly is they probably don’t sell it where you live.

Mini croissant sandwiches

1 large onion

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

6 mini croissants

12 slices ham

6 slices Swiss cheese

Whole grain mustard

Red pepper jelly

Cut onion into thin slices. Heat vegetable oil over medium heat. Add onion and gently sauté until it is a caramel color.

Slice croissants and spread the bottom half with whole grain mustard. Add ham, cheese and caramelized onions. Spread the top half of the croissant with red pepper jelly.

2 Comments

Filed under breads, pork, snacks, tea sandwiches, Uncategorized

Tagged as croissants, football food, ham, red pepper jelly, south, southern cooking, swiss cheese, tennessee volunteers

May 22, 2011

When the Bishop comes

The bishop of our diocese comes to St. Paul’s Episcopal Church once a year. Baptisms are always on the schedule and, this year, confirmations were as well. By the way, there is a killer chocolate cake recipe coming so don’t give up on me here.

Of course, the women of St. Paul’s whip themselves into an absolute frenzy several weeks before the bishop’s visit, making sure the gala reception (and we often call them “gala” receptions, although I don’t know why) after the morning’s services is absolutely perfect. You have to remember that the bishop leads the service at a different Episcopal church each and every week, and every congregation tries to impress the bishop at the reception, although I am quite sure he is sick of all the tea sandwiches by now. So it is extremely important that St. Paul’s stands above the rest. Not that we’re in any sort of competition. That is such a lie.

The first thing that makes an Episcopal gala reception stand out is the wine. It’s incomprehensible to not have wine at a gala reception. It is frowned upon at funeral receptions for reasons I cannot fathom because that is when the grieving family could probably use a little nip. When I was a new member of St. Paul’s I was invited to a newcomers reception at Father Bob’s house. A lapsed Presbyterian, I was expecting punch and cookies. However, when I saw the bar fully stocked and ready for business I knew I had found my new church home. To our parish’s credit, I have never seen a member of the church get even remotely tipsy. We do have some sense of decorum. But we also know how to have a good time.

The food, as always, is of paramount importance but so is the service. Wine glasses, glass plates and proper silverware are always used. Paper products, except for cocktail napkins, are frowned upon. Flower arrangements on each serving table are impressive, executed by the women’s unofficial, but undisputed, leader, Wanda Woolen. Linen table skirts with table toppers are required. This year, we had a moment of brief heart-stopping anxiety when, after everything was arranged, Julie Reinhardt noticed that there was a faint chirping in Otey Hall. Chirping that we are all now unhappily familiar with: the cicada invasion. Somehow two of them had found their way to the bishop’s reception. Do you know that Julie found them hiding in a potted palm, picked them up by their wings and escorted them out the back door? Now, that’s a devoted Episcopal woman for you.

I will admit that there is a sordid underbelly to the preparations and I will, with threat of excommunication, reveal it now. The kitchen crew is not immune to the temptations of the table. This year, we saw the brie and olive tapinade canapes arrive. Ditto the chocolate chess pie and spinach-stuffed phyllo pastries. I’m sorry. I believe that there were slightly too many canapes crowding the plate. We should remove some of them to the kitchen for the sake of symmetry. Oh, dear. A piece of crust fell off the chocolate chess pie on the way to transferring the slices to a serving platter. We cannot possibly serve that and remove it to the kitchen as well. The worst deceit occurred when Mike Gengler arrived with his homemade chive and chile biscuit tea sandwiches filled with ham, cheese, honey mustard and sliced avocado. There wasn’t nearly enough room on one of the serving tables and Margaret Brown and Katie Faulkner insisted on rectifying that by moving the sandwiches to a smaller platter. Once again, oh dear. There appeared to be three or four biscuits that the new platter would not accommodate. There was really no other choice than to sequester them in the kitchen as well.

As usual, the gala reception was a huge hit. The massive post-reception clean-up was helped along by a few glasses of Chardonnay. Everyone removed their high heels in favor of more sensible shoes, and Wanda allowed as how her feet didn’t hurt because they were already completely numb.

O.K., so ya’ll have been patient with me. One of the biggest hits of the day was Susan Cowperthwaite’s chocolate cake, which is

Brie and olive capanes and THE chocolate cake

really more a cross between cake and fudge. It was so impressive that we are considering it for the English Tea this year and, let me tell you, a recipe faces excruciating scrutiny for that to happen. She got the recipe from her cousin, Sharon Hartman, but possession is nine-tenths of the law and Susan executed perfectly.

THE Chocolate Cake

In mixing bowl combine:

2 cups sugar

2 cups flour

1 tsp. baking soda

½ tsp. salt

In saucepan:

2 sticks butter

1/3 cup cocoa

1 cup water

Heat until boiling. Pour over dry ingredients and mix together.

Add 2 eggs (1 at a time, mix after each) and ½ cup sour cream (mix).

Pour into jelly roll pan sprayed with Pam. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes.

Frosting

In saucepan, melt 1 stick of butter. Add 1 box of confectionary sugar, 1 tsp. vanilla, 4 Tbsp. cocoa and 5-6 tablespoons of milk. Stir together until smooth over heat. Add 1 cup of pecans if desired. Pour over hot cake.

2 Comments

Filed under snacks, sweets, tea sandwiches, Uncategorized

Tagged as brie, brie and olive canapes, chardonnay, chocolate cake, chocolate chess pie, episcopal bishop, gala receptions, south, southern cooking, wine

Category Archives: tea sandwiches

Tea sandwiches have no calories

Artichoke tea sandwiches

Cheddar and chive scones

BLT tea biscuits

The queens of hearts

When the Bishop comes

Mother knows best

Alabama Fire Crackers

Mini croissant sandwiches

When the Bishop comes

Blogroll

The Vault

The Goods

Email Subscription