The 112 dollar bottle of mayonnaise

Dammit Boy loves his mayonnaise. Always has.

When he was little he made his own mayonnaise, salt and pepper sandwiches. Yes, he made that up. And those were the only ingredients on the bread.

He’s also always eaten his French fries with mayonnaise. He was overjoyed when he lived in Moscow for five months and discovered that the mayonnaise in Russia comes in a pliable bag with a spout. Excellent delivery system.

And he has always loved his Duke’s. The reason that Duke’s is by far superior to any other mayonnaise is that it has no sugar and just a touch more vinegar than most other brands. You cannot find it outside the South. When Noah moved to Monterey, California, for graduate school I reminded him there would be no Duke’s there. It gave him pause but he went anyway. I sent a case of it with him for the journey west. And I discovered I could ship Duke’s via Amazon for about $19.

Amazon does not ship to Vienna, Austria. But the Mommy Personal Delivery Service does.

As an aside, shipping anything to another country is a little fear inducing. You have to look up the country’s restrictions on what’s allowed to be shipped. Then when you take the package to your UPS store you have to decide what happens if it can’t be delivered. The choices are to have it shipped back at additional cost or allow it to be abandoned. That just sounds terrible to me. Abandoned.

Then you have to track the package, first through the U.S. Postal system and then, in my case, through the Austrian postal system once it crosses the Pond and enters Austria.

And then you discover that shipping anything to a foreign country is friggin’ expensive. And that is why it cost $112 to ship 18 ounces of mayonnaise. It was worth it.

We are visiting Noah in October. He has already asked me to bring blocks of Velveeta. Of course. You can take the boy out of the South but you can’t take the South out of the boy.

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