Chardonnay is a clear liquid
I am having a colonoscopy tomorrow. Too much information? No, you need to know about this. Not mine personally. Just about the procedure.
I had my first colonoscopy at age 52. Everyone over 50 needs to have one I was told. Little did I know. It came back positive. Which is a negative. I had colon cancer. No symptoms. None at all. I was lucky. A little snip snip (okay, a lot of snip snip), six weeks of recovery and it was like it never happened. Except I now have to have a colonoscopy every other year since I’m high risk.
So the bad part is that you have to prep for it the day before. Clean everything out, if you get my drift. And that means a clear liquid diet. Such appetizing offerings. Jello. Chicken broth. Laxatives. Yum, yum.
But after my first couple of colonoscopies I made a startling and welcome discovery. Chardonnay is a clear liquid! And cocktail hour comes early on prep days.
The best part about this whole thing is the day before prep day and the hour after the procedure.
Yesterday I had:
- A bacon Cheddar scone and four strips of bacon for breakfast
- A taco salad for lunch
- Blue Box mac and cheese for supper plus a shrimp cocktail
- And TWO chocolate eclairs
It was almost like being pregnant again. I feel like I can eat anything. And everything.
And the hour after the procedure I can also have anything and everything. I actually look at restaurant menus all day long just imagining what I’ll eat. So far it’s between the pizza buffet at Old Chicago Pizza, the spectacular Butter Burger at Culver’s and the Pad Thai at Peking Palace. Maybe all three.
So here’s the important thing and I’m not kidding. If you’re age 50 or older and you haven’t had a colonoscopy get one. You’re asleep for the actual procedure so you don’t even remember it. If I’d put my first one off I wouldn’t be here to shame you into getting yours.