The best Brussels sprouts you’ll never eat

Categories:sides, veggies

brussels sprouts

Or at least you won’t eat them this week. I have learned — exclusively apparently —  that there is a Brussels sprouts shortage. A crisis, really.

I went to my beloved Publix yesterday for Brussels sprouts. There were two. Two.

An anomaly, I thought. So today I went to another Publix. None. None whatsoever. So I asked my produce guy if he had any in the back. “No,  ma’am,” he said. “I’m sorry but there is a Brussels sprouts shortage.”

How can this be? King Daddy, Dammit Boy and I are the only known people in the Western Hemisphere who like Brussels sprouts.

I looked on the Internet. Surely, there is extensive coverage of this vital story. No, there is not. I found one old story about a Brussels sprouts shortage in Great Britain last Christmas. It was due to unusually rainy weather. But how can that be true here? Most of the Brussels sprouts in this country are grown in California and they’re having a friggin’ drought. I apologize. I am extremely upset.

So we’re having cabbage this Thanksgiving. Cabbage. Dinner is ruined. But I will keep an eye out and report back to you when Brussels sprouts make their triumphant return. In the meantime, file this recipe away. Even Brussels sprouts haters love it.

Reporting from the produce aisle at the Brentwood Publix, this is your sad, dejected correspondent,  Catherine

Sauteed Brussels Sprouts
  • 2 pounds Brussels sprouts
  • 4 tablespoons butter
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
  1. Cut the tough ends off the Brussels sprouts and cut them in half through the core.
  2. Put the sprouts in a microwave container, add water ⅓ up the container and microwave on high for 3-4 minutes or until sprouts are beginning to soften. Drain.
  3. Melt the butter in a skillet over medium high heat. Add the sprouts and season with salt and pepper. Turn the sprouts so the cut sides are in contact with the skillet. Saute until the sprouts are nicely browned, adding more butter if necessary.
  4. Add the lemon juice and stir to combine. Then add the bread crumbs and saute until the crumbs start to turn brown.

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