Every wine for its time
I have recently become a wine connoisseur.
That’s a lie. I suspect when you drink wine out of a Solo cup you cannot qualify as a connoisseur. But ever since Dammit Boy started working at Cool Springs Wine and Liquor while he’s saving money for grad school, I have upped my game quite a bit.
He started coming home with a bottle of this or that, saying “mom, you have to try this.” And then he’d remind me that he got a discount. No proper Southern woman can resist a discount. Never pay retail. We all know that.
Well, it’s gotten completely out of hand. Completely. First we unearthed the wine refrigerator his grandmother gave him and set it up near the kitchen. Just as I cannot stand having a half empty freezer of food, I cannot abide having an empty slot in the damned wine refrigerator.
Then we turned a shelf in the junk room into my wine cellar. I like the sound of that. My wine cellar. But it, of course, cannot look barren (see half empty freezer) so I keep having to restock it. Then the Franklin Wine Festival happened. “Mom, you have to try some of these wines you haven’t had.” Discount, discount.
And then his store offered the single greatest wine sale ever. All my favorites were on the list. Discount, discount, discount. Out of control. We may have to add on to the house to fit them all in.
So I thought I’d offer you my favorites (so far) with a description. I’m sure Wine Spectator will be calling me soon to become a columnist.
1448: My single most favorite wine of all time. It’s a red fruit bomb but not sweet. It’s made by Jeff Runquist in California who is apparently some famous wine guy. I don’t know. It is perfect when you’ve got something or nothing to celebrate. It’s just a big bunch of beautiful wine balloons floating around the house. It’s the perfect accompaniment for watching Dancing with the Stars. After a glass or two you want to compete. Kind of.
Sebastiani Chardonnay: Dry and oaky. I love dry. And it’s oaky. Not just okay. I love oaky. It’s not in vogue with the wine experts I listen to on my podcasts. I’m fine with that. I’m not in vogue with pretty much everything. It’s what you want on a day when it’s rainy and cold and you want to pretend you’re in the south of France. I’ve never been to the south of France, but wee wee. Oh, I’m sorry. Oui, Oui. How crass of me (wee).
La Marca Prosecco: Prosecco is like champagne at half the price. It tastes just the same. To me, at least. The clear advantage of opening a bottle of prosecco is that once you pop the cork you have to drink the whole bottle. The bubbles will not last. And, yes, I drink it in a Solo cup. It’s just like a champagne flute but shaped completely differently and disposable. Prosecco is what you want when you’ve had a shitty day. First, who can be depressed when you’re drinking bubbles? Second, you have to drink the whole bottle so when you wake up the next morning you don’t remember why you were depressed.
I have many more wines I am experimenting with. It’s become kind of a sad yet happy addiction. Right now I am having a glass of Bitch 2010. No, not Bitch 2015. That would be two completely different vintages. Only one of them involves grapes.