Biscuit and gravy potato chips
“I am conducting an experiment.”
That’s what I told one of my peeps at the convenience store when I lined up five bags of potato chips on the counter.
“Just keepin’ ’em honest,” I told Jessica as I paid for my Lay’s Truffle Fries, Reuben, Gyro, and Biscuits and Gravy potato chips. “I’m curious. Do they really taste like their names?”
Lays does this every year — has consumers nominate oddball flavors for potato chips and then asks us to vote for the winner.
So I am doing this real time, as I write about it for you. Instead of water to clear my palate I am drinking a nice glass of Apothic Red. And I have onion dip. Real onion dip (sour cream and Lipton onion soup mix) because why would you not have onion dip with potato chips? Yes, I am ruining my supper.
Truffle fries: Shockingly, this tastes nothing like truffles. Let’s just look at the ingredient list. There’s “truffle fries seasoning” (what is that?), romano cheese, butter, duck and chicken fat (really?) and on down toward the end, truffles. There are actual truffles in truffle fries. But where, oh where, could they be? This was Jessica’s favorite flavor but she’s from California so that probably explains a lot.
Reuben: Wow, I can actually taste corned beef. And it is not unpleasant. The sauerkraut and Russian dressing are nowhere to be found. But it’s pretty astounding that the Lay’s chip scientists found a way to artificially replicate the taste of corned beef using chemicals. I’m not reassured by this fact. But astounded, nevertheless.
Gyro: It is a very tasty potato chip. Very tasty. But not in a gyro sort of way. At all.
Biscuits and Gravy: Of course, I had high hopes for this one. And I actually detected a hint of sausage gravy. Just a suggestion of gravy, but it was there. I got no suggestion of the biscuit, however. Unless one considers a potato chip just a very flat crispy biscuit.
So my winner among the four is the Reuben. It tasted like corned beef. I got that right away. But let’s just pit these four against the last winner: Cheesy Garlic Bread.
Who doesn’t love cheesy garlic bread? As it related to this chip, me. This just tasted like a potato chip. A plain potato chip. There was no hint of cheese, no whiff of garlic.
I should say for the record that I am a very particular potato chip eater. My chip of choice is kettle fried and seasoned only with sea salt. But I now have a vat of onion dip that will only be soiled by contact with all of these chips, no matter how much I love corned beef. I am off to the store for some Dirty Kettle Chips with Sea Salt. It’s a brand. It’s my brand. Experiment over.