We are only seventeen days into Lent. Twenty-three days to go. And all we Episcopalians can do is talk about what we’ve given up. It’s a source of constant conversation. Kind of like the weather.
“How about that storm last night and sure wish I had some chocolate…”
I have one friend who has given up steaks and red wine. The first thing he does after Easter Sunday is go to the Palm and order a big ribeye and a glass of red. I have another friend who’s given up meat entirely. His favorite place is Chick-fil-A and, sadly for him, there will be no chicken sandwich on Easter morning because they are closed on Sundays. But I will be rewarded on Easter Sunday because I have given up hamburgers and I believe somewhere in the greater Nashville metropolitan area there will be a hamburger joint open.
But now, I am obsessing over hamburgers. Oh, an ode to Krystal right about now. These little puppies were extremely tasty: Krystals with barbecue sauce and fried onion rings. So wrong and yet so right. Is it unnatural to take photos of your hamburgers so you can gaze upon them lovingly during Lent? It probably is. But the packaging says it right there. Special. They are special. If you don’t live in the South you will never know how special they are. Particularly at three in the morning. After the possibility that you may have been slightly overserved. A sackful of Krystals will put you right. Hardee’s Blue Cheese Steakhouse Burger: blue cheese, Swiss, A.1. steak sauce, mayonnaise, crispy onion strings, lettuce and tomato. Oh, Lord, please don’t let this special go away until after Lent is over. Please?
And then there’s the Juicy Lucy. I am about to faint. Genuine, Grade A, processed American cheese sandwiched between two beef patties and grilled to perfection so that when you bite into it the cheese oozes out the middle. On a sesame seed bun. I have gained five pounds just thinking about it.
O.K. Get a grip. Just twenty-three days to go. Avert your eyes when you pass the Burger King. I can’t see you. I can’t see you. I will go make a salad now. Salads are just like hamburgers only greener. And less greasy. One of the downsides of salad.
Twenty-three days to go. Twenty-three. Sigh.