Cucumbers and that time of the month

So I am sitting at the CRC warehouse this week during the monthly giveaway and Bobbie Cox arrives with tomatoes from her garden. I just hate Bobbie Cox. She knows everything. She grows her own vegetables, cans them, makes cakes from scratch, sews her own clothes and knows how to fix a Volvo engine. What a show off.

At any rate, because she does know everything, I ask her about my cucumbers. I am growing cucumbers and other vegetables in front of the building this year. And I have noticed that some of them are bitter. So I ask Bobbie why that would be.

This is why I love the South.

“You haven’t been out close to the patch during your time of the month have you?” she asks warily. “Because you know if you go near a cucumber patch during your time of the month, it will ruin them. It happened to me. Had to plow the whole thing under.”

Is this a scientific fact, I ask? Can you find it on the internet? “I’m sure you can,” she says. Well, I looked and you can’t.

However, many superstitions of the South are not to be found on the internet and yet they are true. Like not hanging pictures of your living relatives on the wall. You will surely kill them off instantly. And not eating watermelon before the Fourth of July. Everybody knows that.

So I start to think. I biologically could not have poisoned the cucumber patch due to my rapidly advancing age. However. HOWEVER. Betsy has gone out to get the mail a time or two and the mailbox is right next to the patch. Immediately adjacent to it.

It is too late to save the cucumbers this year. But next year at planting time, I am banning Betsy from all entrances to CRC except the back door from May through September. I think I’ll put something in the employee manual about that.


  1. Kim
    August 9, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    What am I, chopped liver? But I’m sure I didn’t cause the cucumbers to be bitter either. Yeah, let’s blame it on Betsy.

    • Kim
      August 9, 2011 at 10:51 pm

      Or do you just think I’m that old?

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