The Famous Feemster
I am now going to tell you about the single cheapest and best kitchen tool you will ever need besides your own two hands. Terrell will get after me because it’s not the corn scraper he gave me last year, which is a fine, fine tool. It is the Famous Feemster.
How often can you say that you spent less than ten bucks 25 years ago for a kitchen tool that still works flawlessly to this day? Actually, I didn’t spend that money. My mother did. In a rare culinary find for a woman barely conversant with a can opener, she gave my original Feemster to me. It has a stainless steel blade that has never needed sharpening and it works just like an expensive mandolin, which can set you back more than $60. It slices any kind of vegetable thin. And it only costs $8.50.
For something that works so perfectly, these things are hard to find. I have to tell you that when Mark and I went on our honeymoon in Hawaii, the highlight was not the Submarine Museum, which he forced me to endure for four hours. It was not the Polynesian Cultural Center, which I forced him to drive two hours to get to for an unimaginably bad day. It was finding a kitchen store in Honolulu that actually sold Famous Feemsters. I bought another one, just in case the first one ever broke. Which it has not.
Here’s another picture I got off the internet that shows a little better how it actually works. You just take any vegetable and run it through the blade. The modern ones come with a plastic thing that keeps your knuckles from getting scraped. I will say that’s a design feature I wish the original model had.
I am shocked that the Famous Feemster is not widely known. I do not know if there is a Mr. Feemster associated with this product. If there is, he’s probably living on a potato farm in Idaho, slicing away anonymously. And if he’s still alive and reading blogs, I would like an endorsement deal.