Potty mouth

I am quite sure they never allow Southern women in Hell’s Kitchen because we simply wouldn’t put up with all the cursing and yelling that goes on. This year’s crop of cooks looks to be the worst yet. I’m no chef, but I do know enough not to put a raw rack of lamb into an oven without searing it first. That’s pretty basic stuff.

But here’s why I actually liked the guy who did that. He runs a diner and as his signature dish he served biscuits and gravy! That was the dish he thought was absolutely the best thing on his menu. He actually thought Gordon Ramsey would like them. Poor Gordon didn’t even know what biscuits and gravy were.

Granted there can be bad biscuits and gravy and maybe this guy’s were just bad. Gordon actually spit them out. But done correctly, there’s nothing more noble than two fluffy biscuits topped with rich sausage gravy. After all, what is sausage gravy but a bechamel sauce which, if you make the gravy right, uses bacon grease instead of butter.

If you’re a diehard Southerner, this is what you do: Make the gravy with equal parts bacon grease and flour. Stir it over medium heat for a minute to get the raw taste out of the flower. Now start adding whole milk and whisk constantly. Keep adding milk until you get the consistency you want. (All those professional chefs who tell you to add all the milk at once and then stir until it thickens are just plain wrong. No need for all that.) Salt and pepper liberally.

Now, fry three or four sausage patties. And here’s the great part. Take the fat rendered from the sausage and pour it in the gravy. Yes! Then chop up the sausage and add it to the gravy as well.

I’ll bet if my diner guy had made his biscuits and gravy with this recipe he’d still be on the show.